I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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