There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
