I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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