So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
