Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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