I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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