he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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