Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
