I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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