if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
