Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
