i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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