You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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