You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
