my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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