i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
