its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
