I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
