I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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