Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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