I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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