At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
