I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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