what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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