thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
