are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
