i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
