Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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