Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
