You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
