we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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