How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
