A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
