dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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