Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
