I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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