one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo