she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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