I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection