you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish