Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
