Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize