tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
