i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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