I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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