I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize