it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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