I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
