So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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