so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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