How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
