He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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