at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
