Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
