And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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