stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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