i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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