Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
only you would photoshop your dick
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
