return my video game
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
