Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
