He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
