Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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