I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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