Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Randomize
