Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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